Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Misphah and Shen. He named it Ebenezar, saying , "Thus far the Lord has helped us." 1 Samuel 7:12

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Childbirth is the Easy Part

I've been known to say that before.

I think they trick you when they make childbirth out to be so hard.

Don't get me wrong- it is; but I'm convinced that it's the least painful part of raising a child.
And for those of you who think I had many drugs during childbirth- I didn't 100% na-tu-ral with both of them- so pain of childbirth- I know it!
And on a side note for those of you who have adopted: all those painful hours of waiting and paperwork and waiting and traveling: you've experienced a different pain but again don't be fooled there's more to come.
One thing about parenting I never expected was the "feeling" for your kids. I'm talking about physical feeling for your child.

Like when they stub their toe so bad it makes you sick to your stomach or when they are left out from a birthday party or play date, it just hurts the heart of a mom, and dad, to see their baby, no matter their age, in pain.

Yesterday was one of those days.

It didn't start that way but when I woke in the night hurting for my baby I realized this "feeling" for your kids will never end.

Yesterday on the spur of the moment my baby, my little rocker cut his hair. All of it. From fairly long (see picture above taken the day before said haircut) to 7/8 of an inch- ALL OVER. I wrestled in the night with my responsibility in the whole thing and settled on the conclusion I had come to earlier in the day: he spoke up, he asked for the haircut, he asked for the length, he chose.

So yesterday when he realized what he'd done he began to cry.

Now dad and brother don't really get it- they have flat tops and that's about all their hair will do; they tie their short hair to their manliness I think; but my baby boy with his hair so pretty is now looking a little different. Headbanging will no longer be the same.

It's good.

I think he needed to part with it, if he missed it enough to be that upset it is probably a good thing.

So although I believe it's only a haircut, it'll grow- it still hurts.

This parenting thing doesn't get easier, as they grow I feel parts of my heart getting torn each day. As they become more independent and grown up it hurts. As they become their own person with thoughts and ideas beyond my own, it hurts.

The older they get the more I realize how short of a time I have with them.

4 and 6 years- that's what I have left- 4 and 6 years of them under my roof. Where has the time gone? How did I make it through all the hurts of their childhood? And how will I make it through these next years?

Step by step, day by day. Giving each moment up to the Lord- that's how I'll survive!

My heart aches and in the same breath I can say my heart rejoices!

Look who I get to hang with over these next 4 and 6 years!
How about you- what are you looking forward to over the next 4-6 years?
Count me blessed!
PS please note our camera is "down" so we resorted to the photo booth at the mall- it took a little work but we managed to figure a way to get us all in- I bet we looked funny from the outside!


Allison Reynolds said...

Great post...I read something once, that said something like...the hardest part of parenting is having your heart walk around outside your body. It is such a hard walk. I always took the perspective from day one that I am preparing them to leave my home. Even though we hate it, it is such an honor from the Lord to raise them!

Amanda said...

Ahh he is so darn cute any hair will be hadsome. It's his spirit that shines so bright for me!
Love and Blessings

Superhero Mom said...

Can I just say that this made me very excited because at the end of thenext 6 years I will have this 13, 13, 9 - then I can re-read this post and start to cry. UGH! You make me cry all the time!


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