So last night after putting the boys to bed I heard some rustling around at the other end of the house. I tip-toed toward the boys room only to see the light under the door click off and then silence.
It wasn't but a few minutes later when a small war broke out.
My boys aren't big fist fighters but they are boys and "rastlin'" is in their blood. I think it's the hunter-gatherer in them; anyway I've never had a problem with the "rastling'" (I just like that word) and found a trampoline good for those physical days.
While my boys are "boys" they are not the size of boys anymore, so when 2 children who are 5'5" and 6' go at it- you can hear it and feel it. For a brief second I thought an earthquake was occurring. As I crossed the house and their hallway was in view I saw my youngest running from my sewing room to their room and he was pissed. Loud words were coming from his mouth and he was on a mission. Before I made it to the room I heard some crashing and then suddenly quiet. I entered their bedroom to find things looking pretty normal, besides a cleared off dresser top, the boys were no where near each other.
Getting to the bottom of the problem, which involved a light being on and music being played, I really just wanted both boys to see the attitude of their heart.
The thing with kids is they are always ready to point the finger, OK so adults are good at this too, but I'm talking about kids right now.
Anyway after a few minutes of "He this and he that" and "I don't get this, it never goes my way, he's your favorite" I finally stopped them.
"What was your sin" I asked each of them.
"How did you do your brother wrong? Let's face it, injustice is all over the place and ultimately you are only responsible for your actions and in the end it is so much more worth it to put your brother first."
The conversation went well and went long and in the end both boys seemed to see their own fault and suggested a better way of handling things next time. Vaughan also brought up the fact that he has less patience and gives less leeway to his brother.
Why is that?
Why are we harder on the ones closest to us? Why do they get to see our bad side the most? I guess it's because of the unconditional love we receive from them, the comfort of being so real at home.
Finally I got them to bed and made it to my own, but not without a few thoughts to take from the situation. I reflected on some relationship issues I'm struggling with and saw that like the boys I need to look at myself, my thoughts, actions and heart attitude. When I do this I see that it is so freeing and true what the book of James says in chapter 4 verses 1-3:
1What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires
that battle within you? 2You want something but don't get it. You kill and
covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not
have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you
ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
So we survived another parenting "episode" and I'm sure we have many more to come.
Bring it! That's been my motto, let's just face this teen thing head on.
I'm ready, I guess, and things were really put into perspective when Steve said to me this morning, we only have 6 years of children in the house left- that's less time of them being in the house then the time we've lived here in FL; and it seems like yesterday we moved here.
Still surviving this thing called teen years