I Promise I Won't Punch Anyone

So I've been gone a few days.

Not sure where or what I've been doing but the above picture is a pretty accurate description of 4 out of the 7 days of the week for me, except I'm driving.

Seems like this week should be over all ready. Not because it's been bad just because it's been long.

Our first year of public school comes to a close on Friday.

Out first year of home schooling one child since 1999 doesn't come to an end because of forces we're still not sure of.

I'd like to share a few thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head about my life.

First: Education decisions for Vaughan are driving me crazy. For whatever reason I feel like a bad parent because it looks like he'll go full-time again at the high school.

What?

How have I let this inadequacy creep in?

I fight it.

So that's a monster I'm fighting right now. I ask myself, is there anything wrong with graduating from high school with just a high school diploma? I mean we did it, right. There is a train of thought in my circles that no that is not good, that our students should be pushed to get college credit, if not an AA, under their belt before leaving high school. Some times I just want to punch those people in the face.

Other times I realize that wouldn't be very nice.

But if you've ever punched someone there is such gratification in that, self control Michelle, self control.

Second: There's the work and work.

Don't get me wrong I like my job and if I could pick any job it would be the one I have. It's just, well quite frankly after staying at home with my kids for 14 years going to work has been tough to get adjusted to.

My home was my job for 14 years and I loved it!

I spent my days educating my children, cooking, cleaning, visiting parks and the beach, grocery shopping and organizing.

Now that I work p/t out of the house I struggle with not doing my housework when I get home.

A typical day goes like this:

wake up and get people fed, then homeschool, check on my blogs, start some laundry, do dishes, shower and finish homeschool (if we even started) and then lunch and off to work.

At work I work and try to not talk to Jamie too much or hold baby Julia too long.

I then leave work, pick up child, taxi child somewhere, home to make dinner, vacuum floors and then some days back to work.

While I'm at work any cleaning I had down goes quickly down the drain and dirt begins to multiply.

ADHD people, like myself, have a hard time sitting still but lately it's been more like I'm not sitting still because life is going on and things need to get done.

So I ask myself: Am I teaching my children to be a slave to the man? Am I a slave to the man? Oh heck just asking that makes me want to sell everything and live somewhere with tents and gardens or better yet a camper, my family and lots of miles.

Hmm. I don't know.

I don't even know if this blog post is even making any sense.

I don't really care if it does!

So I've rambled.

I'm surviving and now it's off to push some laundry through and get on with the day.

Peace out

-Michelle

one more thing, perhaps the most important, what I to combat all this is from the study of the book of Esther I'm doing: I've taken one of our scenarios of "it's tough being a woman" written it on an index card and on the back side I've written scripture to help with that.

Here's my card:

The Truth to bring me peace, joy and sanity.