Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Misphah and Shen. He named it Ebenezar, saying , "Thus far the Lord has helped us." 1 Samuel 7:12

Saturday, May 22, 2010

New Normal

So this weekend Vaughan has been married for 3 weeks.
That means I have had a daughter now for 3 weeks!
The most common question I get is, "How's it going?"
I'm never sure how to answer that; but even more in this situation.
Well because it is going good.
Things are fine.
See those type of answers are general and can be taken as a way of not saying how things are really going.
SO here's a little more detail on how things are fine and good around here.

I wasn't sure how it would be having another female living in the house with me. I'm a guys girl, only had brothers and only have sons; in fact before our new daughter I had only lived with one other female: my mother! and that experience was less than seller.

We have taken on this new role as in-laws from the vantage point of parents.
No, I'm not looking to discipline our new child but I am looking at her as my newly adopted daughter. I am trying my best to love her, be patient with her and help her in whatever way she could use help, seeking God to view her through His eyes and love her with His love. Afterall, my heart and my way is messed up, only through Christ can any of this work out good and fine.

I thought the kitchen and housework would be a challenge, but it hasn't. It's probably the most common area I get advice, and please keep the advice coming; I view advice like chicken: keep the meat and throw out the bones. Anyway about the housework and kitchen. So far, so good. Our new daughter comes from the same mold we do regarding this area of life.
If you've been to my house you know my incredible houseworking skills.
OK, ok so better yet the lack of them!
I am thankful my new daughter comes from the same mold we all came from. She would rather build relationships than clean, head out on an afterdinner adventure over dishes.

OK so I get frustrated in the fact that she doesn't do the dishes as soon as they are dirty and I wish sometimes she'd mop the floor or straightened out the living room sofas, but those wishes have always been around, those duties are my duties and have been for 17 years. Those are also the same complaints I have with myself. Again, let me repeat that the complaints I have have always been there. Take last night for instance I did the dished form all day yesterday and the night before, it didn't take very long and I like serving my family in that way.

The biggest piece of advice I have for anyone in my situation is to focus on the positive.
I can either be upset the towels aren't folded the way I fold them, or I can rejoice that they are folded!
I can be upset that the dishes aren't done as soon as they are messed up, or I can rejoice that I didn't make dinner, or rejoice in the fact that those dirty dished do get washed by someone other than me!
I can look at this situation with pity for myself, my son and our family, or I can rejoice as the Lord has instructed me to do in all circumstances.

So yes it has been a challenge having more people, ok so just 1 extra person in the house, but is life ever not a challenge?
Anyone who has lived with teenagers knows that no matter what it's hard.
Heck anyone who has lived knows that life is a challenge.

We meet weekly as a family, we are working on our new communication, living in our new normal. We are making it through this with some fun.

As I type this morning my kids are in the living room chatting away. Our daughter's sister is in town and they both greeted Justin with a little song when he work up. What more could I ask for?
Love, above all love, see 1 Peter 4:8.
Home school "Bonding with Sister" day!

And on a side note: I just finished studying the book of Jonah. Chapter 4 hit me, go read it. I do not want to be like Jonah and sit and cry for my own death because things didn't go the way I wanted them to. No, I want to live life to the fullest, rejoicing and loving the Lord with all my heart, soul and strength. I desire to live obedient to His Word and reflect His Son.

Happy weekend!

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