Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Misphah and Shen. He named it Ebenezar, saying , "Thus far the Lord has helped us." 1 Samuel 7:12

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Calming My Soul

Yuck! Today is a day that is driving me nuts.
I feel like I have too much to do and too little time to do it.
I'm over the fact that my back office/sewing room is strewn all over my dinning and living room. I'm over the fact that the floor in that room is still a few days away from being done.
I'm over doing home improvement ourselves.
Over it.
I'm over the fact that my teenage children keep breaking things.
Over this Daniel fast, over wanting to exercise, over animals that shed and eat and poop.

Home school is not going well. Will I ever "get" it in this area?
Work, is, well, another thing to pull me away from my family.
I thought teenagers were suppose to eat and eat anything, apparently they too have times where they are picky eaters and I have no patience for cooking what they want- meals that take a lot of prep time. Especially since my house is loaded with all the stuff from the back room- did I mention that already.
I can deal with some clutter but when it spills out all over the place it goes from a physical clutter to an internal one.

Peace and quiet is something I dream of. If I'm not teaching school, I'm answering questions, if not that then it's helping with homework or listening to Guitar Hero, or a real guitar or boys shooting bb guns or laughing or opening and closing doors, or making movies or on the phone. If we don't have a friend over we have many friends over, if we're not going somewhere somewhere is coming here.
School drop-off, school pick-up, guitar lessons, karate, friends house, Wal-mart, work, Bookland, friends house, grocery store, I am officially a taxi cab for free.

Anyone need a ride? Chances are I'm going near where you need to go. Hop in!!

But it's in all this chaos that I sit still and remember that He is God.
That the creator of all the universe loves me and is by my side. He blessed me with children who can run and jump and talk and play Guitar Hero.
He's blessed me with a job I can work when I want and from home if I want.
He placed my home 5 miles away from a Wal-mart, the grocery store, my work, church and closest friends.
The Maker of the heavens and earth has blessed me with a two cars and a work van, that run and He's given me the freedom to re-evaluate home school and start something new or tweak the old.
He's given me friends.
He's given me His love and His peace, why do I freak and forget to go to Him first?
This life story is not about me, it's about HIM- will I ever get that?

So, when days like today come I remember Psalm 121
I will lift my eyes unto the hills from where my help comes from. My helps comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.

That chapter also says He never sleeps, oh how I find peace in that, He's got me covered and taken care of, day and night, good and bad, calm Michelle and freakout Michelle- He's there.

Praise the Lord O my soul! All my in most being praise His holy name! Psalm 103:1
... see Kelly it did come in handy, I needed those words and they were there, by the way call me

So if you think of me today, or tomorrow or next week- say a prayer, that my focus would remain in things above and not on things down here.



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