My first reaction was to feel bad for him. My baby. It hurts when your child struggles like this, heck it hurts when your child struggles in general; there's something that cuts deep in me when it comes to Night Owl and his trouble handling things the others take with ease. Hubs words ring in my ears, "Don't feel sorry for him, don't feel sorry for him!" So next the feelings of failure on my part sneak in. "I've failed at home school", "I should have been there for him", "Dad should have been there", "Dad never helps out around the house", "No one helps out", "I'm a failure, I do a bad job at parenting", blah, blah, blah, whine , whine, whine! I became a wreck, my mind went from Night Owl struggling and my inability to make it better to how bad I have it! Are you kidding me, my life is great! God has blessed me with a wonderful family who helps out and who I enjoy, not that we don't have our fair share of dysfunction. Mind you I expressed
So I did, I gave glory to God, I rejected Satan and the boys and I had a nice
See the reality of the situation is Night Owl is perfect in how he was made, sinful yes, but his thought process, his ability to adjust or not, his height, his eye color, his everything was made by a perfect God, a God who didn't just throw together a mess of a kid, but a God who knit each and every part of Night Owl together; God has a plan for Night Owl, a plan that is far beyond anything I can imagine, that plan requires Night Owl to react and act and BE just the way he is. So next time when he struggles and the other kids are handling things "fine" I may freak out again on the inside, and that freak out may overflow to the outside, although I pray it doesn't, I'll remember that God "created my (Night Owl's) inmost being" and since God doesn't make mistakes I'll rest assured that every thing's gonna be alright.
*On a side note. When I have a freak out session God has blessed me with great kids. They sit back and listen, quietly, until I either come around or til one of them speaks up and says we should pray or remind me that I am not believing God. Praise God! I figure not only am I teaching them to look to God but also what life with a women is like! I do let them know that women are all this way - we can be an emotional wreck - but how awesome that God loves us and gave men patience to deal with us!!
Just making better husbands, thankyouverymuch!