Pushed to Love

Wow, has it really been since Monday that I posted?


This week went by quick,
this month for that matter.


Today we visited a local festival, rode rides, got tons of free stuff from local businesses and just enjoyed a nice morning out and about.


The kids did good.
It was me, 16-year-old, 10-year-old, 4-year-old and baby girl :)


I think one of the toughest parts about having foster kids, for lack of a better term, is the difference in parenting styles.
Not saying one way is better, just different.
I am also reminded of how hard this period is in the lives of these children.


As foster parents, we get blamed for the removal from their home; so often I am told I am not nice or it has been said by the 4-year-old that he wishes good for everyone but me; and usually this all comes after making him carry his own beach toys or eat his veggies. So public events can certainly be a challenge.


Days like today, when we visit a public event, I am ever so reminded of the differences in parenting.


We rarely took our kids to festivals,
well not really ones with rides and amusements; 
free music or art festivals we frequented,
but... and if you  know me this won't surprise you,
the commercialized, spend-a-ton-of-money, eat-a-bunch-of-super-yummy-crap type of event isn't exactly what we do, or did. So perhaps my parenting at these events is just not practiced enough.


Anyway, today I was reminded that not all parents tell their kids no to squirt games, 
or no to buying more ride tickets or all you can ride bracelets,
not all parents make their kids carry their own stuff,
or say no to sodas,
not everyone packs their own snacks and water to these type of events. 
No, not all parents stop and talk to friends at every other booth,
or literally stop to smell the flowers,
or watch a bug crawl,
or say yes to getting wet in the sprinkler, while fully dressed, in a public place,
reminded that not all kids have been allowed to wear 2 different shoes out and about.


But today was good.
We meshed well today, the "extras" and I.
I mean- I was told that I was not nice and that the day was not fun after telling said 4-year-old no I wouldn't carry him; but it was a good day.


So now Saturday night is upon us and I wait patiently for my sweet, handsome hubby to come home.


As I wait and type I am reminded that our differences, in parenting or just in life, can drive us to hate,
or push us to love.


Hate can pull hard, but I am choosing to let love push me even harder, perhaps even push me down, flat on my face.


I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your weekend and if you are local, check out the Edgewater Festival this weekend,
and gosh darnit buy your kids ride tickets- yolo.


Peace, love and Jesus,


I probably should put the disclaimer in that while we did not frequent traveling amusement rides, my 18-year-old has never been to a fair, we did frequent theme parks- due to my roller coaster and "Mouse' obsession my family knows the Orlando theme park scene like the back of their hand. Darn "the man" and his pull on my wallet, and time.

Life Around Here

On any given day, I or Sarah may look like this:

 Illana has a repurposed table and chairs set that is so cute. She sits and eats snack and just this week ha started to sit and color at it.

 Oh, and she is a climbing and LOVES to get up onto anything.

 Again...

 And again, on any given day really any one of us can have this group of sweetness invading our space :)

 I took Aubry to David Bridal to see the girls- here she is on the pedestal.

 Steve and I have been faithful about date night, only we've added some nights with friends. I love that but this week I need some Steve time!

 We found this for Illana. She is a music lover so this is perfect.

 Speaking of Illana...

Hope you enjoyed the pictures, happy Monday.
Peace, love and Jesus,

FB Blues- Ever Had Them?

I have taken breaks from Facebook before.
And when I do the reaction of people that know me best is laughter,
they know I really like social media.


I have had the conversation about the FB Blues with several people.
You know, you read someone's status and feel like your life sucks.
Your friend went to a theme park 
or on a vacation, 
or heck they may have even gone to the corner store...
and what have you done?
You've barely survived that day 
with a co-worker who is mean 
or a boss who belittles you 
or expects too much, 
some days it's enough for you to feed and cloth the children, 
get them to school and do homework,
heck getting out of bed was a miracle for you


and then there it is on FB for all to see... your friend has just spent a relaxing day at the beach, or shopping or creating something fabulous.


And then there's the party you weren't invited to,
the BFF list you didn't make.
Bummer, 
you hate FB, 
dislike your friend 
and maybe even curse at your computer.
You swear you won't go back on FB or you surely won't check So-and-So's status, 
then something draws you back.


Well I struggle with that.
And I wonder if when I post things I, in turn cause those feelings in others.


Then in my life recently there is family drama,
I know it's been said of me (said in a disgusted manner) "I know all about Michelle's FB posts". 
What does that even mean?


Or what about relationships that have been torn apart because of bad words exchanged on FB. If you don't know anyone who has been defriended on FB and it carried over into real life then you're not talking to enough of your "friends".


And friends, who has 378 friendships with meaning anyway?


So, although I've said it before,
I'll say it again,
FB and I will be drifting apart.


Now my far away friends and family don't worry- I like keeping up with you, that's why I like FB- although Skype is quickly replacing that.


Local friends,
well I am focusing on you more and more; 
no, it won't be all of you, 
because I can't have a true, deep, real, authentic relationship with that many people.
So if you want to invite me to your birthday or a 21 Party, please I love bags and am yet to even see a catalog, well, please do not invite me via FB.


NO thanks FB cyber relationships, 
I am, 
and have been, 
and want to choose to live in the flesh,
the real life,
the face to face, meet at the beach or the park or your back yard.


I wanna look at you when I am happy, or sad or bitchy;
and I want you to look at me when you feel the same.


I wanna "like" your life because I am participating in it with you.
I wanna SEE your kids laugh and play, 
hear them, 
yell at them with you, 
joke with them and laugh at you WITH them.


I want you to know me.
To burp "my" baby,
to know my granddaughter's laugh,
to watch me try to do this thing called life.


So with that said I may or may not blog on a regular basis.
I will most likely still Instagram
and perhaps tweet a little, 
but FB and I, 
well the season is coming for us to not spend that much time together.


So what about you? What do you REALLY think about FB? 

What I'd like to do this week is get another tattoo...

Another week has ended and another one begins.
This week, however; is...
SPRING BREAK!
I love Spring Break,
growing up it was called April Vacation and it always meant a trip to Florida.


Grandparents, beach, pool, Disney.


Now, I live here, 
in sunny Florida and Spring Break means our beach season officially begins.


This week... we are down a family member as my niece visits with her dad in Arizona.
This week... we'll travel north to visit my cousin,
we'll go to the beach,
we'll set up the slip-n-slide,
we'll officially get the pool ready,
and we'll, I'll, begin a healthier lifestyle.


Yep, basically, I am gonna eat more greens,
eat less often, eat smaller portions
and I may even throw in a yoga session or two.
Somehow, over the last few weeks months, or maybe years, I've let the food and lack of motion get out of control, or no control, or something like that. 


It's kind of hard when you love chocolate and sweet tea and highly dislike treadmills, running, eliptical machines, gyms, you get the idea --- oh if I could only have the time to join a gymnastics gym, that's my kind of workout.


Anyhoosel, that's the upcoming week around our place.


Whatever your week offers I hope it's a good one.


For now I'm making a movie run with 2 of my boys.... oh how I love those boys of mine.


peace and love to you all

Garage Plans I Like

OK, so we have a dream of building a garage with an apartment over it; we'll either rent it out for extra income or have it for company/visitors/family etc.

This blog is a good place to keep record of online links.
If you have no interest in floor plans this will bore you, if you enjoy them then have fun linking- and by all means drop your two cents into the comments box.

I like this one with a downstairs modification.
This is cute, only problem is we would like a two car garage.
Cape style, simple dormer, good garage space underneath
I've always liked this barn style, especially since the single garage could be a workshop or for the upstairs apartment.

Today...

...I got my hands dirty.
And boy did it feel good.


Even if only for 15 minutes in the blazing hot, Florida, March sun.
I packed small containers with soil,
poked finger size holes
and dropped in seeds with the hopes of life soon to come.


We'll make pickles,
eat fresh cucumbers,
pick fresh thyme
and for now... that's it.


There is something about doing something that one enjoys.
No matter how simple
or how short of a time.


I haven't been doing much for myself lately, 
well...
except a bunch of Pinterest pinning.


Not much productive.
No sewing or hot gluing.
No gardening or creating.
Ok, so I am wrong again,
I did create this.


My mind ADHD mind seems to need an outlet a variety of outlets on a more regular basis;
but... 
and here's the tricky part,
not too many outlets or I'll get overwhelmed and end up mentally frustrated, angry and depressed; the same state I find myself in when I do not create.


I only makes sense, being made in the image of a Creative, Creating God.


Oh life what are you about if not simply about living in this exact moment.
Loving.
Living.
Caring.
Creating.
Resting.


So today I got my hands dirty,
no,
I got dirt under my nails.
I love dirt under my nails.
The mere fact that I have nails to get dirt under
and the smell,
the feel,
the look.


Almost makes me wanna plant some more seeds,
but I need to buy some more seeds
and for now I think, perhaps, I will do dishes, or look up flights to California and Alaska, yes that would be much more fun.

Cooking Again (for a few days at least)

I am cooking again for a few days, see what we're eating here.