Being a grandparent is reward for not killing your children.

I took Illana with me out and about one day this last week, as I drove out of the driveway I was afraid I might leave her in the car

or when I walked into the store could I walk and hold a baby.

What about in the grocery cart- what if I walk away and forget she's there?

Crazy huh?

I don't ever remember thinking any of those things with my own children.

I just love that little girl.

I am truly blessed.

Hope

I want to stop hoping,

I desire to give in,

I yearn to give up,

will I ever win?

The path is dark,

the way looks bleak,

I don't want to hope,

my heart is oh so weak.

It's not going my way,

I can not see the light,

"abandon all hope" I cry,

it just won't make things right.

I try to stop hoping,

but then I hear,

a still, quiet voice

telling me to draw near.

"It's in this dark,

this hopeless state

you'll look to Me

and learn to wait

hope is not for the sunny days

when all is looking clear

it's for those stormy times

when you really just need Me near."

I no longer hate this hoping

I no longer want to quit

instead I hope in Jesus

and with Him I calmly sit.

Go here for more

I certainly am no poet-

The Hope in the Fire

I am a woman full of hopes and dreams.

I come from a family of dreamers; I think that's what makes us all such good entrepreneur’s.
For as long as I can remember I have sketched a floor plan of my house, my office, my barn.

Crawled up under the old wooden pew we tore open offering envelopes and dreamed.

As life has been lived dreams have come and gone.
Some fulfilled,
some forgotten,
others ripped painfully from my being.

The seed of a Giant Sequoia must face a season of fire before it can take root, as I think about standing at the base of one of these Giants I can’t help think about my hopes and dreams; the journey they take.

The fire they meet.

The root they take
and the giants they have the potential to become.

The Giant Sequoia is not the tallest tree on this planet nor is it the largest in circumference.
My hopes and dreams may stand small in comparison but to me they are huge.

Grown by God from seed in my heart for a purpose;
a purpose to change the world around me,
to change my attitude,
to change my day,
to simply allow a smile in the heart of this dreamer.

Some days I want to give up hope.

Stop dreaming.

Some days I try.

Some days I do.

Then the reality of my God.

The stones of my past pile up and I am reminded of my Ebenezers.

I am reminded that I have truly tasted and seen that the Lord is good.

I know the fire in my day is hope burning.

Burning to be sown,

from something tiny,

something ugly,

something painful,

to something beautiful,

larger than life,

amazing.

We dreamed big under those church pews, waterslides from our bedrooms windows and horses for all to ride. We had hope on that cold New England church floor and it spurred us on to keep dreaming, keep hoping, to just keep on.

May you see hope today in a person, a situation, an attitude. May you keep on.

Love, Peace and Jesus,

Good Morning 4am

I was hoping to post some pictures from Yosemite but as it turns out I'm having uploading issues.

But I guess that makes sense, I have issues.

seeking God at 4am,

relaxing in the silence of my kitchen.

all bodies are at rest.

seeking answers, desiring change.

needing to settle, restless to move.

confused I seek Him.

in hope i step forward,

i step up.

Return

I recently returned from one of the most beautiful places my eyes have seen: Yosemite National Park.

After 3 days in Southern California and a day in the high desert of Cali I had no idea I would fall in love with a piece of that states earth.

But I did.

As we drove out of the park I was already dreaming of returning. I have never felt so much a part of nature as I did while walking, sleeping and looking around Yosemite Valley. The valley is 7 miles long by 1 mile wide with granite walls that enclose a towering forest of ponderosa pine trees. Trees, rock, water, dirt and my man- ah.... my heart skips a few beats just typing that.

I returned home refreshed and renewed, ready to face the day to day challenges of living life, parenting, working and doing youth ministry.

Today I began a volunteer job I had felt called to do since the beginning of the summer, I think somewhere I had convinced myself I'd not have time or be good at it- yet somehow when I started it today I knew neither was true.

I've been home 3 full days and am still amazed at the beauty in those California mountains; I plan to go back and hike the mighty half dome for my 40th birthday.

I can't wait- 40 will be here sooner than I realize and Lord willing I will send pictures from the top of that grand piece of granite; funny a girl from Maine, claiming some part of home in the Granite State of NH would rediscover her love of the mountains, rocks and streams in the Sierra Nevadas of the west.

Happy day to all and may you love today better than you did yesterday.