Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Misphah and Shen. He named it Ebenezar, saying , "Thus far the Lord has helped us." 1 Samuel 7:12

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

When You Can't See

Isn't life like this picture?
While we think we may be steering or perhaps we are fooled to think our feet are actually leading us when in fact we are like Aubry May, standing, holding on, clueless as to what really lies ahead.

Aubry's last court date was back in April.
We were headed north on a plane when her court date went down so we got to miss out on the waiting and the judge and the legal terms and the blah, blah, blah.

Long story short--- nothing has changed. We still remain Aubry's relative caregivers and her bio-parents have an extended time to "get their stuff together".

Only time will tell.

I'm not sure how I feel about our court system;
often I see it as a highly dysfunctional system and other times I see how it got to where it is and why it must chug along the way it does.

I was happy that it was made official on the last set of documents that we do in fact wish to adopt little Miss Aubry May.
I was happy the judge got to read that,
the lawyers and parents got to read that
and now all I can do is hang on and wait blindly to see what the outcome will be.

With all of this taking place and Aubry talking more and more it's got me thinking about telling her about her story.

I've let the state know that Aubry will always know she is adopted, that if we do in fact adopt her, we'll always be open about who her bio-mom and bio-dad are as well as keep their dirty laundry under raps. We've been asked if we'd allow them to see her and our response is yes, as long as they are in a state to see her we would not deny her that.

I've wondered though, how will I tell her.
What will it sound like?
Last night I began to jot down her story in the form of a children's book,
one we could read to her as she grows that would tell her life and highlight the people and events that have made her story unique and wonderful.
Aubry May is loved by many and I want her to know that.
I want her to see her significance in Christ and know without a doubt that her bio-parents behavior reflects nothing on her.

I don't know.
Only time will tell.
Until then, I'll hold on and trust in The One who knows what lies ahead.

*so I wrote this post last Friday, May 17; then at 1:27 while I was proofing it a phone call came in.
From CPC.
It was Aubry's case worker calling to say Aubry's biological father dad called and wanted to set up visitation with Aubry.
It will be his first visit with her.
So trust what we can't see is obviously something I need to live out right now.
With a calm heart,

1 comment:

Missy said...

So heart wrenching. I'm thinking of you. Keep on loving this little girl with all your heart.


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