Sunday, December 03, 2006

My Baby's a Teenager
Yes today I am the parent of a teenager. Yes I know, I know, I'm not old enough to have a teenager, but I am; it's the natural consequence of being a teen mom, your kid turns 13 and you haven't quite yet figured out this whole parent thing!
We've had today planned for months now. French toast for breakfast, subs for lunch and a big Medieval feast for dinner. V woke this morning and after breakfast jumped into my father's trailer truck and headed for a delivery with his grandfather 1.5 hours away. We always wake up on our kids birthday and begin to reflect on those first years they were in our home. Those who are in our family know these stories well, but you, well, you don't so let me open a page of V's baby book: here's is V's birth story.
November 30th was a Thursday back in 1993. Steve and I had been married 3.5 months. Saturday, December 2 was our 1 day lamaze class so when I began to have pains around 3pm I never imagined I would be in labor. Steve was a senior in high school, crazy I know, and I stayed at home and helped coach cheerleading for some extra cash. It was at cheerleading practice that my "cramps" started and as I drove home that night I wondered what was up. Steve's diagnosis was gas and I showered before my mother-in-law heard me moan while on the phone with Steve. It was Steve's away!
Not thinking anything we arrived at the hospital around 8pm. It wasn't but 5 mintes later we got the diagosis: I was in labor at 30 weeks and there was no stopping it! I was dialated to 9! They gave me a shot to slow down my labor so the NICU could arrive from a hospital 30 minutes away. It was around 9pm when I was given the OK to push and 14 minutes later little Vaughan was welcomed into this world. His little 17 inch, 4 lb 1.3 oz body had no fat on it and he resembled an alien photo I had once seen (of course I didn't notice that tilyears later). He was breathing so I could hold him right after birth and a few minutes later he was hooked up to monitors. One monitored his heart rate, another his pulse, still another over his mouth reminded him to breath and an iv tube kept him full of the neccesities. Once he was "stablized" and ready for travel the ambulance swept him away to another hospital while I sat alone trying to wrap my mind around everything that had happened.
The next morning around 7am we awoke, grabbed a box lunch from the hospital, went home, showered and headed to the hospital to see our little one. He was so tiny and slept so peacefully in a little incubator next to a 1 pound girl and a 3 pounder. It took a little bite to get use to holding him with all his monitors and cords, but the love of a mother overshawdows any incomvience. By day 3 he was off of the extras and only heart and breathing monitors remained. He spot in the nursery was moved twice as he began his 26 day visit in the NICU at Dartmouth medical center in Hanover, NH.
Every day we visited him, I spent many an hour in the breast pumping room, pumping breast milk to be fed to V through a feeding tube. He had no gag reflect and couldn't suck until he was about 3 weeks old. My cousin and Steve's friend Justin visted daily as well. He was the only preemie in the place that attempted to talk, his "billy goat" sounds brought a smile to every nurses face. He barely cried and swam in the preemie clothes we bought. I saved a preemie diaper just because and everytime I pull it out I am reminded of the miracle that was given to me 13 years ago today.
When I look back I do not remember feeling afraid or that something bad could happen. Never did I think he wouldn't be fine - there's something to being a teenager and knowing everything and feeling invincible and then having a child. When you feel that for yourself you feel that for your child as well. Our youth kept us stupid enough to enjoy each day in the NICU, fretting was not on our radar. Today I give the praise to the Lord. He had His hand on every second of V's first hours and days, He kept our hearts still and at peace. It was God's grace that entered out lives when V was born.
So that is the story of Vaughan. He now stands 5 foot 7 inches, still as skinny as a rail. He loves the Lord. His best friend is a great Christain kid. He likes PS2 and making his own movies using a camera and movie maker. He's in the 7th grade, homeschooled since kindergarten, and is a great big brother to J. He's respectful, kind and loving to strangers and those in need. He talks back and moans whne I ask him to do the dishes, but he does them. *smile* He's done his own laundry since age 8, feeds his cats without being reminded and he loves to play football! How could I forget that, he doesn't like to watch the game but when football starts he's a machine! He's a Boy Scout and he loves Sunday School and youth group at our church! Still a lego fan and also likes Bionicles and Heroscape.
As I look back over the last 13 years, I can't help but look over the next 13. They will be gone quick as a flash and I'll be reflecting back on the day my baby became a teenager. My prayer for him is that he will grow in the Lord. That his heart will be a heart after God. I pray he'll know his purpose in God's kingdom early on and live a life for Christ. I pray for his future wife, that she too would desire to seek God above all else in her life.
I also ask you for your payer for me as we entered into these teen years. I have a feeling the terrible two's and three's are nothing compared to these years to come.
Oh my baby's a teenager, kind of makes me sad.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006


Easy Holiday Leftover Storage
We just finished up Thanksgiving and at my house we quickly finished up all our leftovers! Life with tweenage boys consitutes no food in the fridge!

Clean up was great and we used these plates to not only eat on but to send home leftovers in! Two plates "snap" together to make a great container! I actually made up plates for the next days lunch, everyone got to pick what they wanted, we labeled each one and they stacked neatly in the fridge. On Friday it was heat, serve, eat and throw away! My kind of cooking and cleaning up! The only regret I have is that we ran out of plates!!









Last night I had one of the worst anxiety attacks ever! I was so tired that I settled in for bed around 10ish. The boys were already asleep, hubbie was in the shower and I just couldn't keep my eyes open. having no idea how long I slept for I awoke with a sudden feeling of doom overwhelming me. It was 11:20pm. I'm not sure if doom is really the right word but I felt very overwhelmed, very scared and very confused. I don't think I was fully with it but I do remember pacing the floor by my bed moaning. I've had anxiety before and even been woken up before, but not like this. As I was pacing hubbie woke up and said something, actually I don't think he was even fully awake. i then began to take turns pacing and snuggling with him. I would shake and moan. I thought about hubbie's upcoming trip to Africa, my cousin in Indonesia who is going through some heavy times and my oldest who will be on a survival campout all by himself this weekend (all by himself means, dad won't be there). I cried out to God and just kept saying "Jesus" and "Lord please calm me" over and over. "The victory is won", I repeated, I began to thank God that this battle I was in had already been won, there's victory in Jesus! When I came to my senses I grabbed my Bible and froze at where to open. I began to recite in my head "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with thanksgiving present your requests to God, and the peace that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds" I then began to say what I could out loud and thank God for His grace, His mercy, His presence and His promise to never leave us nor forsake us. I got to my knees and prayed, I prayed for hubbie's trip, for my cousin and my son; my words may not have made much sense, I'm not even sure if my words formed sentences, but God doesn't need us to make sense. In fact if He required that of us I'd fail tremendously. I mustered up the strength and I opened to the book of James and read about wisdom, my mind slowly began to calm down, God's peace crept over me and covered me with a blanket of peace. I slept on and off with the light on snuggled close to hubbie before I turned off the light and slept til morning. Ok so I found the foresight to turn off my alarm first!

When I woke up I remembered the heaviness, the presence of something not of God that slid into my room last night. I opened my Bible and read in Ephesians about the armor of God, about our fight not being against flesh and blood, that this fight was not in our realm but was a real fight, a physical fight a hand to hand combat type of fight. Then I remembered what God had said, there's VICTORY IN JESUS! You better believe this morning was a morning of prayer and putting on my armor of God before I even stuck a leg out from under the covers.

So as I go about today I will look to Christ, I will hopefully spend a little more time with Jesus. I will claim victory over this anxiety that when I went o bed last night I didn't know existed. Denial? maybe but the there's no denying the victory and Who it belongs to.

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