I was tired of seeing posts about my friend who took her own life. The memories of her, questions as to why and a string of posts blaming her ex alcoholic husband she was trying to divorce had me disliking and feeling sad on many levels.
We had become closer of the years; our friendship started as a mentorship, she to me and then slowly over the years it switched to a friendship and then in the end, I helped her along this journey.
I was about 3 years ahead of her in a divorce battle, my ex a narcotic addict, hers an alcoholic.
There are so many of us out there trying to make sense of life after living long term with an addict.
The lies, the constant questioning our reality, being told what we are experiencing isn't real.
l
I remember my ex taking hours in the bathroom, literal hours. It was hard to plan anything and his response was always, "No, it wasn't that long, you're impatient, you don't know" Then I would time him to prove to myself that I was not making it up, it really was a very long time, and then I would show him the timer and that he did indeed take hours to get ready in the bathroom. His response "Who does that? You're crazy to be timing me. Who does that?' To which I would think "I am crazy, be patient, be kind, put others before you Michelle."
She dealt with that too. My friend who died.
She had be been cheated on for years and yet somehow she thought she was to blame; that somehow his rudeness was her fault.
So I deactivated social media and I also turn my phone off regularly; I do not want to be distracted from taking my eyes off of the real world in front of my face. I do not want to connect with people online who quite honestly could care less about me (more on that to come).
So to anyone divorcing an alcoholic or drug addict I encourage you to hang in there. To seek God and His Word, to know what God says about you.
You are loved.
God has always been there.
He loves you just as you are, right where you are.
-m
