From the Shadows to the Savior: My Quiet Truth About a Marriage Tied to Addiction

For a long time, I’ve kept quiet about a part of my story — the part that lived in the shadows, hidden behind curated smiles, church services, and successful career moves. But it’s time to talk about the elephant in the room.

Not because I want sympathy.
But because there’s freedom in the truth — and someone else needs to hear it, too.

🌒 Living on the Edge of Darkness

For years, I told myself I was simply adjacent to the mess. I was married to a man whose lifestyle involved drugs. A functioning addict. A provider, a charmer, a man who could still show up at times — but underneath it all was a world I refused to admit I was actually part of.

I believed I was staying faithful.
I told myself I was waiting on God to heal him.
I trusted that my prayers would be answered and our marriage would be redeemed.

But I missed something big.

⚠️ I Wasn’t on the Outskirts — I Was Inside It

It hit me one morning, almost casually.

I wasn’t just married to someone in the drug world — I was in it, too.

We weren’t even married a full year before I found myself breaking up weed on a table so the joint rollers could do their thing. I helped prepare product. I was a cog in the machine. The “business” wasn’t just his — I was moving pieces.

And yet, I never saw a dime.
I never even saw me.

I wasn’t just being used by him.
I was also disconnected from myself, from my worth, from what God says about me.

🙏 But Then Came Grace

Here’s the truth that brings me peace:
Jesus didn’t come to condemn me.
He came to set me free.

Not just from that marriage.
Not just from the drug culture.
But from the lie that I was only valuable when I was useful to someone else.

Romans 8:1-2 tells us:

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.”

Today, I walk in that freedom.

And if you’re reading this — if you’ve been hiding your own truth, trying to figure out where your role ended and his began — I want you to know this:

You are not dirty. You are not broken. You are not condemned.

You are seen.
You are loved.
You are being called higher.

By grace. Through truth. With love.

Jesus loves you — and so do I.

xoxo,
m

Keep On

When life has you wanting to quit..... keep on.

When parenting has you wanting to quit.... keep on.

When marriage has you wanting to quit... keep on.

Keep on.

Keep on going to God's Word.

Keep on thanking God for WHO HE IS.

Keep on observing His presence all around you.

Keep on praying and pressing on toward the real goal; the goal that we are to be Jesus to a dying world, to make and grow disciples.

So today, whatever you're facing... keep on.

Jesus loves you and so do I.

-M

Surviving Cancer gets one thinking...

The thing about surviving cancer is watching those around you get a cancer diagnosis.

I know what they are facing.

And then again I don't know.

Cancer is so unique to every person.

The type, the size, the location.

Then add in people lives.

No two are are the same, so no two cancer diagnosis are the same.

No two faith walks are the same.

God knit us together so unique and perfect that out journey is just that, ours.

Take cancer out of it.

Life is simply hard; no one gets left out of the hard.

The question is how will we respond?

I struggled this last week with hope.

I had lost it, 

...............or at least I felt that way.

The I went to God's Word and read this:

Lamentations 3:21-24

This I recall to mind,

Therefore I have hope.

The LORDS lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, 

for His compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.

"The Lord is my portion" says my soul,

therefore I have hope in Him. 

I had shifted my hope from The LORD, to the temporal, :( .... I was thinking on what I see here in the physical world, playing some things out in how I see things. no bueno

HOWEVER, my story doesn't stop there....

.... God truly never ceases to amaze me: when I shift my focus to His Word;

His way, His mindset.

Peace follows.

Joy comes.

Life is hard my friends.

God is good.

Let's be growing in Christ and be the hands and feet of Jesus to the world around us, 

in our unique position and lot in life.

May we be able to say this...

"we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that,

suffering produces endurance,

endurance produces character and 

character produces hope and

hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." 

-Romans 5:3-5

And when life is in a calmer, less stormy "good" season, rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice, let your gentleness be known to all. (Phil 4:4,5)

I hope you are encouraged by this post.

If you have been, 

please let me know in the comments below.

I am hoping to journal more here to encourage you in the your own day to day.

It is my heart that you can face life knowing that God loves you and has your best in mind lean into His Word.

xoxo

-m