Parenting Teens

Part of my job ends up being advice giving, and advice beyond what color bridesmaids dresses to wear or what veil to pair with the dress.
Especially when blended families come in and middle to high school age girls are required to wear a dress for a wedding.

While wearing a dress to some girls seems like a dream come true, to others it is a nightmare.

That is where I find advice giving and be at it's highest.

So based on an experience last night I've compiled a few tips I have on raising teenagers, and please by no means do I claim to "get" this whole parenting thing.

- let them vent, and by let I mean keep your mouth shut and don't argue back and by vent I mean say things that are completely crazy, make no sense and can be mean - teenagers are not in their right mind at times and I've learned if I've done a somewhat decent job at apologizing and taking responsibility for my own actions they will eventually come around and do the same, eventually

- take responsibility for your own actions, as a parent if I curse- catch my behavior, apologize, express the challenge of making good choices and move on. If we yell or gossip, lie or say something not nice- same thing: take responsibility for our own actions as parents. Perfect people, no- and our kids know that above anyone else what we struggle with, well that is if we live real and authentic in front of them.

- love them. It's sometimes the hardest thing to do but when they pull an attitude, say mean things about others, themselves, their situation or us: just love them, trust me loving and patience with them will pay off because as soon as their hormones get back into some sort of balance you'll recognize the child you once knew.

-Be there #1 fan, be on their team.

-Pick your battles. Is it worth a huge family argument to have a certain haircut? or wear a certain style of clothing? or a question I ask brides at work: "You have to decide if it's worth it to argue over what dress they wear. In 20 years will it even matter?""

-Love them how they are. For who they are. It may be different than you but it's them and embrace that, learn from that and above all enjoy that! We all are unique and learning to love and enjoy that uniqueness is part of life with others and life with the ones we call our children, even if they are hormonal teenagers who know everything, know you know nothing and all the while eat your food, use your gas and trample dirt all over your floors.

So there it is a few tips I have on parenting these people we call teens.I am by no means a parenting expert nor does my name sit on a top 10 parent list.
But I love my kids. Tons.
I have a 17 year old who I think enjoys my company and a 15 year old who recently named his father and I as the two people he loves and trusts the most in this world (parents of elementary kids may not get this but as a parent of a teen it speaks massive volumes to my heart)

So enjoy your teen, one day they'll be gone and you'll miss them.
I promise.

One of These Kids Is Doing Her Own Thing

Bloom where you are planted.
When I started my job I wasn't sure why I was there. I had been living in boy world pretty much since birth and so dresses and silhouettes, sashes and accessories were pretty foreign terms to my ears.
Then I studied and studied.
Got trained and watched television shows about dresses and weddings.
After 6 months I can say with confidence that I do know what I'm talking about. I do know about wedding dresses, bridesmaid dresses, accessories, sashes, boleros, and shoes.
But I still often wonder why am I there.
Then a day like yesterday happens.
A week like last week.
I can often feel like the egg above, out of place.
But then God puts events in my life and the lives of my co-workers so we can be there for one another, to encourage, to listen, to understand and to laugh.
My desire to is to Jesus in my workplace. To be the light, the city of a hill.
It's OK to be the odd egg out, a little different.
O Lord may I be a little bit more different today than yesterday and may my difference point people toward You. May You get ALL the praise and glory in my miracle of a life.
For great is our God and most worthy of praise. Psalm 96:4a


What about you- where are you to be the light? To be Jesus?
Not only where but ARE YOU?
if yes- I encourage you to excel still more
if you're not
I encourage you to just do it, I know you can.

Another Day W/My Man

My man works really hard.
He has worn many different hats in our 17 years of marriage, he's worn many a shoe, boot and flip flop as well. Again this weekend I had the chance to go to work with him for a few hours. I love the view from the deck I got to hang out on.

I even love to watch my man work.

But sometimes I just watch his feet. Each step done in love for us, each step working toward providing and caring for us, his family.
I love that man!

Things That Make Ya Go Hmmm?

Dad comes home from work, he's greeted and at least some of the housework is done.
Mom comes home, no one is here and the housework she asked to be done is not done.
Hmmm, cell phone are getting taken away and internet privileges for one young man is being removed.
Fun times!

Dreams Becoming Reality

I like to create.
At first I thought I liked to sew, or craft or scrapbook; but I realize that since I was little I have really just liked to create.

Last spring I heard a guy named Marcus Buckingham speak and the words I heard really got my brain turning. He spoke about strengths, weaknesses and our jobs. Long story short 2 major things came from that; the first being me quitting my job last August and the second being my hearts desire to sell my creations for a better cause.

So this last Tuesday night at the 2nd Annual Detroit Benefit concert I got to see that hearts desire play itself out. I had the opportunity to sell my creations and donate all the money to inner-city Detroit missions.

Here's my table with the best merch girls I know.
I didn't have anything neat to display my stuff on, so a few hours before the concert I asked Steve if he'd cut down the dead orange tree in the side yard and make it into a display stand. he did and it worked out great.
I had never heard the feature band Fireflight so it was a special treat to hear them live. I've decided that the bass guitar is where I belong in a rock-n-roll band.
Cause I do belong in a rockband.
I do.
But don't tell Justin
- he'd freak.

Here is Fireflight's bassist... a girl!
Nice shoes.
Also notice the lead singer has a bubble dress on- and it was metalic fabric.

So God is amazing is so many ways but this was just one of them, I got to see the fruits of my labor go toward a good cause and a dream in my heart bloomed.

If you want more info on my sewing label vintage sheet or my "line" 4 the Love of DETROIT, please visit their websites by clicking on their names. You can also purchase some really neat one of a kind creations for yourself and support the Cass Corridor area of Detroit at the same time.

Anyone else have a dream of theirs come to life?

New Job

I got a new job about 3 weeks ago at David's Bridal.
Officially I am a Wedding Consultant!!
Yippee!!
A job out of my comfort zone. This mom to boys had to learn about waistlines, dress type and how to put someones hair in a quick updo!
So far I love it, or like it?
It's nice to go to a job, do the work and then come home. In the past I've either worked from home or partially from home, this time I can walk away and just be home!!
So if you're in the market for a wedding dress or bridesmaid dress, or special occasion dress come see me!!
It's a fun job- dress up all day long!!

Just Another Adventure

It was the planning of this wedding that landed me a job at David's Bridal.

No, I wasn't looking for a job, which is why it makes it all the more sweeter.

I started training last week and I am excited, so far I enjoy the info I am learning and the people I work with. I've done a lot of crazy things in my life and I add this to the list. Didn't realize my life would be where it is today but I am willing to live it where I'm at!

Other than not not too much going on. Homeschool, work, youth came to an end last night. Gearing up for summer.

Quiet in a Box

thinking on this today:
For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:32-34

Tomorrow is my official last day of work.
I like to work Fridays cause it's the quietest day at the office.
My cardboard box is sitting near my desk ready to carry my things as I head out of work tomorrow.

Wow! I am so excited just thinking about it.
Be assured I'll take a picture of myself, cause you see no one else will be in the office.
I say that will a smile on my face *smile*
It only seems natural that quiet is how I should leave.
Quiet I came, quiet I left.

Actually speaking of quiet, I did have the habit of sneaking into work and quietly working at my desk for hours before anyone, besides the secretary, knew I was there.

Although one day I did text Kev some stuff as if he wasn't in the office and then found out he was, we were sitting like 25 feet apart and didn't even know it!
Sorry, thinking back over the job already.

Right now I need to go and do ALL my dishes, wash, dry and put away.
A clean kitchen sink makes me happy.
Vaughan is at Turn or Burn,
Justin has a friend over and Steve came home for lunch so we go to visit!

Time to do dishes
and praying my morning motivation returns soon =)
-Michelle

I Quit My Job

...there you go, that's my BIG news!
Although I don't like to think of it as quitting but more as moving into a new season in life.

I actually gave my notice two Mondays ago and my last day is this Friday! I was waiting for an e-mail to be sent out to our adult leaders, our Lifeguards, and that went out today.
Now I can share with the rest of the people in my life!!

Here is a piece of what I said in that letter:

"Please know I am not leaving because of any ‘relational’ or ‘political’ reasons;
this decision comes with much prayer and as Solomon said in Ecclesiastes, "There
is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven". Just as
the Lord opened the door for me to prayerfully step into this job and season 2
years ago, He has shown me that this season of employment has now come to an
end; my time and efforts need to be focused back on our home, Justin's last full
year of home schooling and being Steve's helpmate in his business.”

My heart is still with student ministries. I will still lead a small group on Wednesday and be part of Fuel the student leadership team.

I am excited to step into this new season.
My heart has always been in my home.
I may not be the greatest at housekeeping, cooking and laundry but I do love to do all things home.

I already have projects lined up.
Sewing, baking, cleaning...

Next week Vaughan goes back to school and I will take the whole week off!
I am thrilled!!
The the following week TreeHouse SchoolHouse will start back and I will also officially start as Steve's bookkeeper.

So, that's the big news.
No baby.
No moving.
Just me moving out of one job and into another.

Gotta say I'm wicked excited!
-Michelle

Les' i-phone Rocks the House!

OK, so a few pics from the other night and some new ones too!
Pizza downtown at Giordanos, the best deep dish.
Then it was Wrigley Field, but you'll have to wait for game day pics because they deserve a post all in their own. I mean, Wrigley Field.

So yesterday I feel in love with Les' i-phone. Here I am with it, I think it was the online map of Chicago and the hour and a half I had to play around with it.

Glory!

I loved having the online access at my finger tips and when I found out how to zoom in and out on the i-phone I was the most thrilled I had been in a while.

We walked out to Navy Pier, Whitney and I with part of the city behind us. the weather was beautiful.

We found this cool indoor garden area.

Then we made a crazy exit to see....

this is for you Dani....

Harpo Studios.

I have other pictures and more to tell I just knew a few of you would be happy to see pics now. I probably won't be back here until Monday so peace out until then.

-Michelle

Chi-ca-go!

Yippy!
Made it to Chicago safe and sound.
Ate downtown at a great pizza place, meet our intern who's coming the end of May (thrilled for that one) and didn't sleep worth anything!
Today was a great day at the SHIFT conference, lots of great info.
Tonight...
Wrigley Field!
Rock on!
Yep- Cubs game and "Take me out to the ballgame" during the 7th inning stretch,
sitting in seats that were right behind home plate and NOT our ticketed ones,
getting kicked out of kick a** seats behind home plate!
Pics to follow,
tomorrow another great day at Willow Creek, taking in dinner at another place downtown.
Game time now,
signing off!
Loving it!
Peace out!
-Michelle

Shift

Local Mission Update!

So I've been gone from my computer for a little while.
This last weekend was amazing!
It was our student local mission trip.
25 students between the ages of 12 and 18 gathered at our church on Friday night.
Our night started with group games, free time, worship and food!
We brainstormed as smaller groups about ways we could serve the community around us.

Saturday morning we ate breakfast and headed out as 7 smaller groups to bless the people who live in our neighborhoods, Here's what was accomplished:

• 100 Gatorade's were given out to fisherman, families, and people at local parks
• A single lady in poor health had a face lift done on her house she is getting ready to sell. Old bushes dug up, new ones planted, lawn mowed.
• The local nursing home had 8 visitors who handed out flowers and sang Happy Birthday to one of the residents.
• Every staff working at the local hospital on Saturday was given a thank you card.
• The cafeteria at the hospital got all it's tables cleaned and the patrons got full service drink refills and tray clean up.
• All the hospital rooms with people in them were given flowers.
• Sick people with no visitors had a few that day!
• Two local parks got their bathrooms cleaned.
• 2 local homeless people were given a fresh homemade lunch.
• 3 families in our area with several children were given gift certificates to Old Navy in the amounts of $110, $110 and $135.
• Grandparents struggling to raise their grandchildren were blessed with Saturday night dinner!
• A busy family with little children got their lawn mowed and weeded for free!
• School supplies were bought for needy families.
• Fast food resturant patrons at 3 local places got full service table service and the tables all got wiped down!

This is just part of what I could remember.

How cool is all of that! With busy lives and school just around the corner these students could have done lots of other things, instead they gave up their Saturday and with $50 per group and a little brain using they touched the lives of hundreds of people right in their own back yard.

The thought behind this local trip was that we as adults and students will take a week out of our schedule to travel to neighborhoods far from home and serve them. We pounded nails in New Orleans, painted decks in Waveland, fed the homeless in Detroit and loved on the children who raise themselves in the projects of area code 313; but the question was what are we doing right here?

We've gotta take care of our neighborhoods, our community. If we don't care for those around us who will? If we'll spend hundreds on ourselves, hours for our own pleasure what is 1 day? or even 1 week?

After getting sweaty and wet, smelly and bruised I walked away this weekend thinking I should do more. I sit here in front of my computer with my fridge full of food, I search for the best internet deal on t-shirts or fabric, but what about my neighbors? What could I do to help them out?

In October it will be Make a Difference Day. If you don't have anything planned that weekend, or even if you do, I'd encourage you to think about what you could do to make a difference in your community; or if you're gone or have plans that day think about what you could do where you'll be to make a difference, to pay it forward, to think of someone else above yourself.

If you do it, you'll never regret it- I promise.

As for us we're looking at this weekend and thinking of planning another student local mission- we've only touched the tip of the ice berg on this one!

The kids are getting it, they're catching the fire!

A Post About Tuesday, Relaxing and My J-O-B

Tuesday.
My favorite day.
It means hanging out by the pool and taking Justin to a friends for a 1/2 kid free afternoon, well that is unless I have to work, which for the record I have to work every Tuesday.

Well, I don't have to, but I chose to, work that is. Love that about my job- the making my own schedule; unless my schedule makes me. Like this last weekend- crazy I worked all weekend.
It was worth it!
I just finished putting on a dinner for 150 of our Stockholders. By Stockholders I mean the 150 people that purchased $100 in stock in a student who either went to Waveland, Mississippi or Detroit, Michigan.

When our students get ready to raise their funds for their mission trips one option is to sell stock in themselves. This year my oldest chose to work for all his money, while my youngest chose to sell stock. He had 3 of his 4 stockholders there and he did an awesome job.

Here's how it went down:
Students greeted stockholders as they arrived and seated them in their seats at their respected table. It was raining so we had kids hustling around to and from the parking lot with umbrellas. Once the dinner started Kev, my "boss"- although I do a better job bossing, I think, anyway, Kev started with a welcome and asking the students a question about their experience on the trip. "Tell about a typical day" "Where did you see God" "What was most challenging for you".....

Once the question was answered, the student came back to the kitchen serving counter and loaded his/her tray with the right amount of appetizers for his/her table. This year we had a Cajun Soul-Food Menu and boy was it good.
Did I mention I had nothing to do with the cooking so it was all homemade, yum.
The student then bussed their own table and kept up with everyone's drinks.

This format of question and eat went on through the soup: gumbo, dinner: smothered pork with mushrooms, onions, collard greens (the best I'd ever had), black-eyed peas and hoe cakes (fried cornbread- for all ya'll that don't use the term ya'll), we finished with Mississippi Mudd cake and Sweet Potato Pie! (notice I capitalized the dessert)

All in all the dinner went great!

The coolest thing about the dinner is to see 27 students serving others.

These students had spent 9 days away from our community building and painting in Waveland, Mississippi, and 7 days running a Big A children's club and loving on the people of inner-city Detroit.

I feel I need to explain why this is so cool. These students are in the minority. I hope one day the majority.
Most students I come in contact with are more concerned with their latest clothing purchase or ipod, or when they are going to the beach or why their Volkswagon isn't good enough, they wanted the BMW. I even have a friend who just graduated high school who is so interested in herself that she blackmailed her dad for a few hundred bucks.

We live in a very wealthy area. Multi-million dollar homes line the beach and million dollar home surround those ones. It's in the shadows of these homes that gets me: children are being neglected, going without food or shoes, elderly are struggling to mow their lawns, single parents are working 2 and 3 jobs to make ends meet. Meanwhile, vehicles that cost more than my home pass by me every day and I know of people with engagement rings that could help solve world hunger. (Please note I am not against these things I just think if it's what's important and what we strive for, we're off- way off)

So when I look out across a dinning room and see 27 students serving, it rocks my boat.

In August this same group of students will be let loose on our own area to serve on a local mission trip.
I can't wait to see what they learned in Waveland and Detroit brought home here to our neighborhoods.

But for me, today it's Tuesday and so I will live in my bathing suit, crank my ipod to tobymac, visit with a friend and enjoy the day.

Carpe Diem.
~Michelle

Workin's Not Bad

Started my new job last week.

It's my first real job in a long time.

The whole staying at home thing has certainly been a full time job these last 14 years and I love the job of mothering and parenting, even consider more kids so I can keep doing it *smile*

The new job. Th one outside my home. Great!

I like my new job! I couldn't ask for a better fit, actually I did ask- I actually was praying about this particular job for months before I was even offered it. So anyway I like my new job!

I get to set my own hours, work from the office or home and will even be able to home school the kids at the office! I love it!

I just feel so blessed. With the boys getting older and more independent, us needing some extra cash, and my desire to step foot outside my house for something besides grocery shopping, this job fits.

I'm blessed.

-Michelle
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