Wanting to write something here but I just seem to type then delete.
Above is a picture of my second, but much better tasting, batch of dill pickles. 2 jars of bread and butter pickles now share the same shelf. Canning is interesting, exciting and takes an awefully big pot!
I've been internally frustrated lately, and by lately I mean most of my life; wrestling with hope and my lack of it, ot is it too much of it?
Growing up is hard to do and right now I waiver between not wanting to hope and wondering what hope really is.
Some days I don't wanna hope anymore because it seems like the hope I've had in the past has let me down; I can feel betrayed by hope, struggling to think I will ever hope for anything again. As a mother we hope for things for our children, for our husband, for our home and for our own lives; when those hopes turn out differently, when years and years of hope turning out differently, it can pile up in a girls heart and gets tiring. Frustrating. Hope draining.
My perspective has a bunch, ok everything to do with this and when I read in Romans (ch 8) this last week about "hope that is seen is not hope" (ch 8:24) the Holy Spirit touched my heart and turned my eyes from the hope I have placed in this world, in my children's lives, my husband's business, in things seen... to Christ's second coming.
The hope in His coming I eagerly await.
A day when all the wrongs will be made right, when "the creation itself will be set free from its slavery to corruption" (8:21).
It's a hard balance.
I want to hope for things seen, but I desire all the more to hope for things unseen.
Lord, when my mind goes astray may the Holy Spirit pull it back to You and the hope of the day when You return and all of creation will be made complete.
I wonder if anyone else has felt this hopeless yet equally hopeful?
Ok so that's all I got. Have a great Wednesday.
2 comments:
Hope in the unknown future is a hard thing. We must build certainty and comfort within our social units (it seems for you those have been your children and the world of light). You can still trust light for that is the only thing God built the universe with, but we must be aware that there is light that cannot be seen. It can be felt, observed, and studied to give hope in certainty (humanity's long quest to find heaven on earth). An inner hope that light can teach us becomes merely faith that God's plan is playing out correctly (he doesn't make mistakes, as we have said). We must trust ourselves within our selves for we are flawed in the way we understand.
these are the words my heart is speaking at this season of my life. I "hope" this season passes quickly for you.
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