The Journey Continues....

My life is changing. I'm not sure that I like it.
For the past 13 years I have been a mother. Pregnant when I graduated high school, I married my high school sweetheart and began my career as a stay-at-home-mom. I loved the early years, the late nights, the early mornings, the crying, the cuddling, the crawling, the freshness of life seen through the eyes of a child. The baby stage, the toddler stage, I just loved it!
I love the elementary stage. The learning, the exploring, the parks, questions. I loved it! We climbed trees together, we caught bugs, we grew mold and made play-doh!
I now find myself smack-dab in the teen years! and things are changing around here. We listen to music for fun and jump off of really high things. V towers above me and asks everytime we turn down our road "can I drive?", I'm not sure I like this whole mom thing. I didn't sign-up for this. I didn't want to leave my kids home alone when I run out for a gallon of milk, I didn't want my child to be independent of me. I never expected them to answer the phone and take a message! The other day V called the internet company and worked out our internet problem while I schooled J in the other room - while some may find this a good thing, I'm not convinced it's right! This is not what I signed up for. I wanted them to stay little, to ask me to tie their shoe (so OK J still does this) or cut their meat, I never intended on having them make their own orthodontist appointments or do their own laundry. Somehow in my parenting journey these things all have happened. Somehow I've been phased out of so many of my duties. Somehow, someday I will have worked myself right out of a job. I don't like this, no, not one little bite.

So what comes next?

This is something I've prayed about and wrestled with God about. I've found it very hard to move into this teen stage, what's a mom to do? Here's what I believe He's been telling me. Stick to the task at hand. You are not done, in fact you are far from it. Your duties are changing, embrace them, with My strength and help you'll get through.

So I press on, I press on even though my duties have changed, even though life has taken a turn I'm not crazy about. I'm begining to see my "little men" become little men, I'm begining to see them as young adults, independent and not living under my roof. As much as I hate to see them this way, I must. I need the time to prepare myself for what lies ahead. To prepare myself for the drive to college, the first job, the first home outside my own and even, yes if I must say it, for my being replaced one day by another women, their wife.

So I write today as the mother on a teenager, ready to embark on a journey I'd rather stay behind on, a journey into unchartered waters, a journey I pray, I trust, I know will be a great adventure!

I find I spend much of my time counting down or preparing for something in the future. Today I sat down to add a new "ticker" to my myspace counting down the days until my hubby will return, this replaced the ticker of how long until he left. Last night I sat down and planned my home school week (yes I know the week had already started), next I am making out my grocery list, planning the next week's worth of food. It got me thinking about all I plan for and all I don't plan for.

For instance I don't plan to share Christ with people. I mean I do plan to, one day when I'm a missionary- yes this is really what I want to do when I grow up. I do plan to when conversation and the Holy Spirit lead that way, but I don't deliberately plan to set out and share Christ. Don't get me wrong I try to bring up Christ in conversations but when was the last time I sat down and planned it. Yes, yes I know living and sharing out faith is not necessarily planned out but why can't it be. Follow me here, why don't I sit down and write a list of the people I come into contact with regularly; the cashiers at Publix and Wal-mart, the librarian, the lady who works at the gas station, the teller at the bank. Why don't I sit down and pray about each of those people or situations, then come up with a plan to share Christ with them. I mean if I had a ticker that counted down to the day until Christ returned or if everyone had a ticker of their days left above their head I'm sure I'd find a way to share Christ with them right now.

So I've decided that while in the midst of the counting down season I will make a point to share the reason for the season to these individuals who I see each week; I will plan to be deliberate in what I say, to go out and make disciples of all nations, starting with the one I live in. I encourage you to do the same.

My Baby's a Teenager

Yes today I am the parent of a teenager. Yes I know, I know, I'm not old enough to have a teenager, but I am; it's the natural consequence of being a teen mom, your kid turns 13 and you haven't quite yet figured out this whole parent thing!
We've had today planned for months now. French toast for breakfast, subs for lunch and a big Medieval feast for dinner. V woke this morning and after breakfast jumped into my father's trailer truck and headed for a delivery with his grandfather 1.5 hours away. We always wake up on our kids birthday and begin to reflect on those first years they were in our home. Those who are in our family know these stories well, but you, well, you don't so let me open a page of V's baby book: here's is V's birth story.
November 30th was a Thursday back in 1993. Steve and I had been married 3.5 months. Saturday, December 2 was our 1 day lamaze class so when I began to have pains around 3pm I never imagined I would be in labor. Steve was a senior in high school, crazy I know, and I stayed at home and helped coach cheerleading for some extra cash. It was at cheerleading practice that my "cramps" started and as I drove home that night I wondered what was up. Steve's diagnosis was gas and I showered before my mother-in-law heard me moan while on the phone with Steve. It was Steve's away!
Not thinking anything we arrived at the hospital around 8pm. It wasn't but 5 mintes later we got the diagosis: I was in labor at 30 weeks and there was no stopping it! I was dialated to 9! They gave me a shot to slow down my labor so the NICU could arrive from a hospital 30 minutes away. It was around 9pm when I was given the OK to push and 14 minutes later little Vaughan was welcomed into this world. His little 17 inch, 4 lb 1.3 oz body had no fat on it and he resembled an alien photo I had once seen (of course I didn't notice that tilyears later). He was breathing so I could hold him right after birth and a few minutes later he was hooked up to monitors. One monitored his heart rate, another his pulse, still another over his mouth reminded him to breath and an iv tube kept him full of the neccesities. Once he was "stablized" and ready for travel the ambulance swept him away to another hospital while I sat alone trying to wrap my mind around everything that had happened.
The next morning around 7am we awoke, grabbed a box lunch from the hospital, went home, showered and headed to the hospital to see our little one. He was so tiny and slept so peacefully in a little incubator next to a 1 pound girl and a 3 pounder. It took a little bite to get use to holding him with all his monitors and cords, but the love of a mother overshawdows any incomvience. By day 3 he was off of the extras and only heart and breathing monitors remained. He spot in the nursery was moved twice as he began his 26 day visit in the NICU at Dartmouth medical center in Hanover, NH.
Every day we visited him, I spent many an hour in the breast pumping room, pumping breast milk to be fed to V through a feeding tube. He had no gag reflect and couldn't suck until he was about 3 weeks old. My cousin and Steve's friend Justin visted daily as well. He was the only preemie in the place that attempted to talk, his "billy goat" sounds brought a smile to every nurses face. He barely cried and swam in the preemie clothes we bought. I saved a preemie diaper just because and everytime I pull it out I am reminded of the miracle that was given to me 13 years ago today.
When I look back I do not remember feeling afraid or that something bad could happen. Never did I think he wouldn't be fine - there's something to being a teenager and knowing everything and feeling invincible and then having a child. When you feel that for yourself you feel that for your child as well. Our youth kept us stupid enough to enjoy each day in the NICU, fretting was not on our radar. Today I give the praise to the Lord. He had His hand on every second of V's first hours and days, He kept our hearts still and at peace. It was God's grace that entered out lives when V was born.
So that is the story of Vaughan. He now stands 5 foot 7 inches, still as skinny as a rail. He loves the Lord. His best friend is a great Christain kid. He likes PS2 and making his own movies using a camera and movie maker. He's in the 7th grade, homeschooled since kindergarten, and is a great big brother to J. He's respectful, kind and loving to strangers and those in need. He talks back and moans whne I ask him to do the dishes, but he does them. *smile* He's done his own laundry since age 8, feeds his cats without being reminded and he loves to play football! How could I forget that, he doesn't like to watch the game but when football starts he's a machine! He's a Boy Scout and he loves Sunday School and youth group at our church! Still a lego fan and also likes Bionicles and Heroscape.
As I look back over the last 13 years, I can't help but look over the next 13. They will be gone quick as a flash and I'll be reflecting back on the day my baby became a teenager. My prayer for him is that he will grow in the Lord. That his heart will be a heart after God. I pray he'll know his purpose in God's kingdom early on and live a life for Christ. I pray for his future wife, that she too would desire to seek God above all else in her life.
I also ask you for your payer for me as we entered into these teen years. I have a feeling the terrible two's and three's are nothing compared to these years to come.
Oh my baby's a teenager, kind of makes me sad.

Easy Holiday Leftover Storage
We just finished up Thanksgiving and at my house we quickly finished up all our leftovers! Life with tweenage boys consitutes no food in the fridge!

Clean up was great and we used these plates to not only eat on but to send home leftovers in! Two plates "snap" together to make a great container! I actually made up plates for the next days lunch, everyone got to pick what they wanted, we labeled each one and they stacked neatly in the fridge. On Friday it was heat, serve, eat and throw away! My kind of cooking and cleaning up! The only regret I have is that we ran out of plates!!